Red vs Blue New Girl at Red Base
by MightyWaddles
Summary: Ever since everyone at Blue team has sorted out their personal problems, Red team has nothing to do. No adventures to go save eachother, now it is just sit and wait for an attack.. until a girl wearing red armour falls from the sky. ::I do not own Red vs Blue or Bungie:: (Rated T for swears)
1. Chapter 1

**Hey. Quick note: This chapter is in 1st person, the next will be 3rd person.**  
**_::Start::_**

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Two snipers on the left, three on the right on that very platform four stories high. Only one grenade left, suitcase is just behind that door. No biggie.

Taking the pin from my stick grenade, I threw it at the door, causing the snipers to scatter. I quickly hopped over my hiding rock and took a sniper rifle of my very own, and to the best of my abilities I killed the very left soldier, as he was falling his sniper fell in just the right position for me to shoot at the trigger, causing the dead mans sniper rifle to fire and earn me a quadruple kill. I took notice to the crates on my right, jumping to the top of each one. When I got to the platform the grenade went off, I exchanged my sniper for my assault and stepped inside the room. I saw _him_ with the suitcase. _Too easy, what is going-_ And before I knew it, time stopped besides me.

"What the hell?" I then knew what was going on as everything faded away, and I was in an empty white room, falling. I caught my fall with a tuck-and-roll. I recovered quickly, ripping off my red helmat and throwing it to the ground. "What the hell!" I shouted, facing a large mirror. "I was _this _close! Why did you stop me?"

The intercom clicked. "_Joy.._" I groaned, now what? I waited for a response.. and waited. Obviously I'm not getting one. I picked up the helmat off the ground and found a crease in the white walls, opening a door and taking off the light, red armour that was supposed to be worn when inside the holographic room. Odd, no one was in the control center.

"Dad?" I called, leaving the control room and into an empty white hall. "Stew?" I whipped my head around, then spotted a man in a filthy lab coat walking the opposite direction of me. "Hey ass-hat!"

I ran after him, but he disappeared into a janitor's closet. I swear if I'm still in the simulation. I checked a vent, still screwed down, no sign of entry in the past six years, my graffiti was still there and crayon rubs away quick in ventilation shafts.

I speed-walked back to the control center, picking up my phone from my locker and putting on my jacket. There isn't much room to wear anything under those suits and wearing just a sports bra and boxers were all I wore at the moment and Stewart likes to have the AC in the whole training facility cracked, despite my workout from two minutes ago, I was still freezing.

_ Where the hell is everybody?_ Then, something I noticed on a computer screen. I pulled a sticky note off from the screen. "_Go home SweetPea, there was a glitch in the system and we are getting things ready and recalibrating as you read this. Be safe, and get some pants on 3_" Typical, I got locked in the holographic world again, god knows how long, and they left me.

As I was told to on the note, I got some sweats on, and to be safe.. a hand gun should do! I skipped to the guns locker, put in the combo and pulled. A sticky note came floating down from the top of the locked locker. "_No_" Am I really _that_ predictable? Fine, I'll just take a pocket knife.

I slipped on my sandals and walked outside, passing a window, realizing how stupid I looked. I had a bad case of helmat hair for one, then going down I had a baggy green unzipped hoodie to show my sports bra and down further I had white sweatpants on, with my red boxers poking out, and then I was wearing cheap dollar store sandals.

As I was eyeing myself I stopped as something attached to the window was blocking the look of my face, and it so happened to be my dads favorite form of communication of today. I reached and ripped it from the once spotless window and read in sloppy letters, "DONt gO hOME."

Okay, now I was getting paranoid. I looked to the gate to get out of this place, the entire walkway was littered with sticky notes, all saying the same thing. I picked one up, they were all the same. I took my sandals off and ran home, the sticky notes seemed to know which direction I would take, I even climbed a fire escape to the roofs, there were the sticky notes. Home is just two blocks away and I am not about to do what a bunch of fake notes are telling me to do.

I arrived home with many paper cuts on my feet. The cuts feel so real, so I can't be in the holographic world, but how is all of this even possible? Who ever did this seriously wanted to freak me out, they didn't slack off while doing this, every note was turned writing side up and no cars were on the street. I was expecting to get tackled while taking alley ways to escape from sticky notes but no one but me seemed to be anywhere. I was tempted to break into somebodys house. I was happy to see the sticky notes ending as I opened the front door, but saddened to see no one home, but a bright light coming from the basement, and red armour on the counter. Hey look! A normal sticky note!

"_Put these on_" Finally! We have our own holographic chamber! I thought holographic technology was illegal outside of permitted areas? Way to break the law dad.. I'm so proud.

The armour I was given at the facility was as light as paper, and not that hard either. What I was given here, was a lot different. This was heavy, and seemed like it had electronics running through it, probably could take a few bullets too. I took off my sweats and jacket, putting on the black undersuit, was a bit too skin tight for me, but I felt like a spy with it on, so I guess its alright. I then attatched multiple parts of the armour on, not even knowing what to start with, I liked the new suit, even though it was hot pink, I could move around, probably fight in this too. Last, I put on the helmat, and as soon as I did the armour flashed once, numbers were clouding my vision through the yellow visor. I backed up into the counter as the numbers were bright and blinded me.

Then it all stopped, and I felt like I was breathing fresh forest air.. I need to investigate this when I have time. But who ever invented this armour, they get negative points for un-creativity, totally stealing this from Halo, Halo 3 to be exact.

I opened the glowing closet door, and before I could step inside I was already falling. I was having a hard time convincing myself that this wasn't real life, how could dad get this advanced technology? It felt like I was really falling, like the landscape all around me was real, like that lake I'm about to dive into is real. Real or not, I can still feel pain, even if it is just a simulation.

The space between the water and I was getting smaller, and after a check of my surroundings I found two, what looked like bases, from Halo 3. _Some people are just so uncreative, couldn't think of something better?_ And a check of the bases I seen one of them, the closest, had three people standing outside, watching me as I fell, all in armour with shades of red. _Don't help or anything, just fucking stand there and watch.. what am I thinking? They are fake, not real. The only thing the programmers ever really programmed for people were fear, common sense, smells and most basic human needs. Seeing someone fall from the sky? I'm not attacking them so they shouldn't really be caring._

Now, came the impact. I held my breath, got out of the position I was in and straightened my body. I might not make it, falling from this distance. But whatever. Massive amount of pain and end of simulation, two pain killers later and everything would be normal.

_3... 2... 1..._

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**Please excuse any spelling errors I am un aware of, critisizm is wanted but not needed. Thank you for reading Chapter 1.  
I do not own the armour, soldiers or Halo (3) mentioned in this Chapter. I only own my character, Joy.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for reading up to the 2nd chapter. I'll work hard on this for you guys. This chapter is in second person.  
**_**::Start::**_

* * *

"Sarge! Donut's doing it again!"

"Dammit Grif, I'm busy fixing your mistakes!"

The Minor Junior Private Negative First Class in orange armour with the name of Grif sighed, for the thousandth time that day. Literally, Simmons has been counting while Sarge was fixing a robotic part on his back, which Grif accidentally shot. Simmons was counting and getting tired of his constant sighing.

"But I'm serious! We need to re-decorate the base!" The soldier in lightish red armour pleaded with his team mates, and they all disagreed. "Please? I need help with these huge packages-"

"Enough Donut!"

Simmons was about to loose it. Grif had sighed again, Lopez was saying things in Spanish, Sarge was yelling at Grif and Donut went on with the double entendres. Just as Simmons was about to snap, he noticed something hot pink falling from the sky. "Hey Sarge?"

Sarge grunted as a response and looked up at what Simmons was looking at, Sarge took acouple steps closer to the water, gasping as he figured out what it was.

"Its a red soldier!" Everyone around the base stopped arguing, and sighing, to get closer to the lake waters and look at the soldier dressed in red armour, falling from the clouds. "He'll never survive that fall!"

"Are you sure Sarge?" Donut asked, hoping it was someone with fashion tips. "What if its a girl?"

"Well, if she iss a girl and if she is a fellow red soldier it is our duty to save her!"

Simmons looked at everyone else, and knew who should go get him. "Grif should go."

"What?" Grif was way to lazy to swim out in the middle of the lake and bring back a dead body. "Why me?"

"Well, Lopez and I can't because we can't get our mechanical parts wet. You already know Sarge wont go and Donut.." Simmons thought a bit.

"I just straightened my hair! If it gets wet I'll have to do it all over again!"

Grif sighed, angering Simmons. "Fine.." Grif walked into the water, knowing he wont be able to win this argument, he never does. Luckily, as soon as he got close to him, the soldier had fallen in the water with a big splash. Grif dived under water, not having to hold his breath. The helmet was air tight and supplied him with breathable air, but he didn't know if the soldier who was slowly sinking had put on his helmet right, or if it was malfunctioning or not, so he should get him out of the water before he drowns. While Grif was doing this, Simmons took the Warthog to Blue base, where Doc was. Simmons honked the horn as he was nearing, gaining the attention of everyone inside.

"HEY BLUES!" Simmons shouted.

The blues' holographic leader, Church, was the only one who stepped outside ontop of the base and returned the shout. "WHAT DO YOU WANT REDS?" A bit angry that he was inturrupting a card game from inside.

"WE NEED DOC FOR A BIT!"

"Oh." Church stopped shouting and sent Doc down. Since Doc wasn't really Red or Blue, he sent him down without hesitation. Until he thought about it.. "Wait.. WHAT DO YOU NEED HIM FOR?"

Doc climbed into the passenger side of the Warthog and Simmons replied with a, "Some person is falling from the- I mean, SUCK IT BLUES!" And left, explaining what happened back at base to Doc.

Church was pissed and curious at the lack of an answer, and commanded one of his soldiers to check it out. "Hey Tucker!" He shouted into the base. "Go see what the Blues are doing over there."

"What!" Tucker dropped his cards, and gave Carolina the advantage of the card game. "Why me?"

Church already knew what to say, as he said this multiple times before, "They said something about a person, and you never know, it could be a chick-"

And without another word, Tucker ran on one side of the canyon and followed the Warthog. _I really hope this person is a chick, and a normal one.. wait, there are no such thing as a normal chick. So one who isn't bitchy all the time and has more common sense than Caboose_.

"Sarge, I took your advice and brought Doc over." Simmons kissed ass to Sarge.

"Good job Simmons!" He praised, which boosted Simmons self esteem.

"Sarge! Grif has the new guy!" Donut exclaimed, and he was right.

"Great job pointing that out, Donut!" He praised again, but Donut didn't really pay attention to him, only to who the new guy is.

Then Grif arrived on shore, one arm was holding the soldiers' side and his other arm was supporting the soldier's arm around his neck. After getting the knocked-out soldier on shore, Grif dropped her and fell to the ground. "I got him saftley to shore, sir." He huffed, out of breath from the great swim there, and the great swim back with a passenger.

"Well no shit, Sherlock.." Once, a long time ago, Grif thought that deep down Sarge actually cared for him but just didn't want to admit it. But after dealing with this, everyday.. he learnt that no one would really care. The only person he knows that slightly cares about him is Sister, and occasionally Simmons. _What a life, being a dissapointment.. its pretty great because no one expects you to do things._

Behind a few rocks, Tucker was crouching and spotted the soldier, immidiatly identified her as a girl with his astounding eye sight he gained from never getting to use the sniper rifle. _Hopefully she will wake up and take some of that wet armour off, bow-chicka-bow-wow._

"Doc, is he alive?" Simmons asked, hovering over the body.

Doc grabbed his scanner and went over her body with it, the technology in the helmet already told him that she was alive, and infact a girl. "She doesn't seem to be injured, just the impact from the great fall knocked her out."

Grif groaned, Donut squealed, Sarge grunted and Simmons questioned, "Its a girl?"

"Yes, and she may not wake up for awhile. Mind if I stay? I need to make sure she's prepared to handle you men-"

Tucker, just realizing what Doc had said, stood up from his position and shouted, "_BOW-CHICKA-BOW-WOW!_" He realized what he had done, now took a run for it. Sarge hopped in the Warthog with Simmons on the turret and chased after him; Grif, Doc and Donut stayed with the new girl.

Doc got down and checked her vitals, then stood up. "Donut, can you grab her and bring her inside-"

"But I just polished my nails! I am not about ruin them!"

Doc tried his best not to smack himself in the face and looked over at a recovering Grif. Grif already knew what Doc was about to ask him, so he picked the girl up and brought her inside. Doc opened a room down below to where the recroom was at, and let Grif placed the unknown girl on the couch. He passed Sarge's special chair and sat on the two seater, putting his feet on the table. Grif and Donut couldn't help but feel curious as Doc reached for the claspe to take off her helmet.

"Now, lets see what you look like under this-"

Before Doc could finish his sentance, a hand reached out and grabbed his wrist, he was inches away from taking off her helmet. Doc looked and saw who's hand it was, it was _her_. The girl got up from the couch and held Doc in the air by his throat, Grif reacted fast and took his rifle, pointing it the the girls' head.

"Drop Doc, and no one gets hurt."

The girl looked menicingly over at Grif, he took a step away in fear, giving her the perfect chance to knock the rifle out of his hand and pick _him_ up by his throat. Next was Donut, who froze in place.

"Please.." Doc managed to get out, "We are just trying to help."

The girl felt no threat between these two, besides the orange one who pointed a gun to her head. She cautiously let them down, Doc let out a relieved sigh.

"Thanks for the help Donut." Grif sighed, getting tired of having to deal with Donut being.. Donut.

The girl just stood there, shocked at what Grif had said. _He called the purple one Doc, and the pink one Donut._

She looked at Grif's side, his pistol looking very tempting right now. Being shot in the simulation hurts, but it doesn't feel like the real deal. Just as Grif turned to sit down, she grabbed his pistol. Before Grif could react, she shot herself in the foot. Everyone stood and watched as she did this, it was so sudden, and odd.

"Um.. did you just shoot yourself in the foot?" Grif asked, the girl looked over at him, trying not to cry out in pain. "No offence, but that is pretty fucking retarded of you."

Doc sighed, putting his head in his hand. His life is filled with idiots. The girl sat down while Doc took out the bullet and sealed the would, then wrapping it up in gauze.

"So, tell me why you shot yourself in the foot?" Doc asked, not really expecting an answer, as she didn't speak at all.

"Please don't tell me your a defective cyborg." Grif sighed, not only being a girl, but being simillar to Simmons too? His 'shoot myself in the foot' malfunction/phase was funny at first, but after awhile it got annoying.

The girl looked down at her foot, it was swollen a bit and stung like hell. It felt so real, and looked so realistic. There was no way this was a simulation.

"Please tell me your not a mute either, last time we dealt with a mute, he turned out to be a load of trouble, and he got me stuck in a wall for awhile."

She regularly didn't speak to the simulations, so she was hesitant to respond. Just as she opened her mouth, Sarge walked in complaining on how the 'crafty blue' got away.

"Is the new girl awake?" Simmons asked, refraining from sighing.

"Look for yourself." The girl spoke, Doc and Grif was suprised by her sudden response.

"Oh, so you don't talk to us, but you talk to the kiss-ass?" Grif shook his head in disbelief.

The girl took Grif's gun, which he forgot to take back, and aimed it at him. Grif backed up as best as he could in the chair, then Sarge came in the conversation.

"Good job soldier! Threatening a man with his own pistol!" Sarge praised, wanting her to shoot. How he knew it was his gun, she would never know.

If she knew this wasn't somehow a simulation, she wouldn't be pointing the gun at Grif. She did all of this to get reactions, emotions, something to tell her that this wasn't a simulation. But she can't kill him, and she already has the gun pointed at him. _Should I be on Sarge's good side or Grif's good side?_

She decided, that if this was a well built simulation, then she would see one of these guys get hurt later. Taking the gun, she flipped it so she was holding the barrel, handing him his gun back, signaling truce.

Sarge grumbled, then walked away, dissapointed in her actions. Donut approached the girl, and with a cheery voice he asked her, "What is your name?"

She was suprised in his question, marking off 'curiosity' from a list in her head. "Joy."

"I swear, Doc. She just hates us." Grif complained.

Joy growled at him, "If I hated you, then why didn't I shoot you?"

"Why the hell did you shoot yourself? Do you hate your foot?"

Joy wanted to chuckle, but she still couldn't figure out if these guys were simulations. She was dying to tell them, "I wanted to know if this was real" deciding that it would be best if she didn't say that. Instead, she changed the subject. "Where will my room be?" Joy was tired, and all she wanted right now was sleep. Before all of this, Joy spent all day in simulations, most of them included fighting, then she walked home, fell from an outstanding height and survived, and shot herself in the foot.

"Well.." Simmons spoke up, nearing her on the couch, eyeing her foot resting on the table. "Since you arrived so abruptly, we didn't have time to clear a room for you." Joy looked up at Simmons, waiting for him to make his point. "You'll have to share with someone."

"Sarge doesn't share, Doc bunks with Donut and Simmons.." Grif stopped, he was just about to share a room with a girl. As bad as that doesn't sound, he doesn't want to deal with a moody PMSing girl every day or so.

Simmons took Grifs hesitation to make up an excuse. "I am shy, and my room is filled with robotic parts. Well, I guess you're stuck with her, Grif."

Grif bitterly shown her to his room, which was a total mess. The two beds inside were pushed together, which were now being seperated by a pissed off Grif. He kicked oreo wrappers out of the way, boxes of food and empty cartons of cigarettes while moving the bed to the oppisite side of the room. Joy would help if she could, but thinking about her foot and decided it would be best if she didn't do anything to irritate the wound. After he was done moving the room around, he left her alone to her thoughts.

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**Please excuse any spelling errors I am un aware of, critisizm is wanted but not needed. Thank you for reading Chapter 2.  
I do not own the characters mentioned in this Chapter. I only own my character, Joy.  
Thank you.  
(I am up for ANY suggestions)**


	3. Chapter 3

**This chapter, like Chapter 1, is in 1st person. POV of Joy. Thank you, and bear with mistakes I make.  
[IMPORTANT: I changed a bit in Chpt. 2, Church is now Holographic and Tex turned into Carolina]  
**_**::Start::**_

I made myself at home, and as I didn't really pack anything for this 'trip', I'm stuck with what I have on me: a lighter and a pocket knife. I started to look around this mess Grif calls a room for a stray cigarette, hoping Grif left one un-smoked by accident, to my luck, he did. I looked around some more hidden treasures, finding a Oreo still in the wrapper. Now my inventory was a single Oreo, a cigarette, pocket knife and a lighter, how fun..

Before I shall smoke or eat, I should experiment with this cool helmet. I remember Washington saying to Maine that they should shoot Doc in the chest and check his 'audio log', so this helmet must have amazing abilities. As easily as I thought it would be, I accessed something just by thinking about it, displaying a menu like screen, semi blocking my view out of my visor. There was thousands of menus to choose from, so I guess I should start with the basics. I opened a menu that told me my status. Right now, my heart is beating normally, blood flow is normal, breathing is a bit fast, body temperature normal. Then, to the side was the status outside my body. Air is breathable, flammable, and non-lethal, also, it is twenty degrees in this room. Before I could freak out about how cold it was in here, I read it was Celsius.. so room temperature.. Celsius is so.. useless.

I fiddled with the clasp behind my helmet, figuring out how to get this thing off my head. I heard a _click_, then a hissing, then the helmet slid off my head. I placed it on my pillow while finding my lighter tucked away in my armour, and the cigarette was on my lap. Before I could light it, my helmet flashed, and a faint _"Beep-beep!" _was heard from it. It was a message, from Donut. I didn't know these things can send messages.

I shoved my helmet on, reading the message, _"Wine and Cheese hour is in five minutes! Don't be late!"_ I giggled, Donut's daily Wine and Cheese hour. If this was a simulation, the programmers did their research.

I looked at the cigarette in my hand after putting away the helmet, is this all real? This armour is high-tech, too high-tech for the guys at the facility. How could they make this all seem so real? The pain, the reactions, the smells. When I walked in this room, I noticed the smell of Oreos, cigarette smoke and dirty clothes, and I still do. But, that is a lot of programming. The computers have to be enormous to carry all of this data, and even so, how could it all fit in my basement? How could it all get moved in my basement in only a couple of hours?

My helmet beeped again, I put it on, making sure it is sealed this time. When I put it on, I heard a suction noise, then more hissing, then read the message. "_Two minutes!_" I smirked, then headed outside, sneaking the cigarette and Oreo in my armour.

"There she is!" I heard Donut call, then a bunch of grumbles following it. I looked, and saw a helmet-less Donut, who had the innocent blue eyes and blonde hair that I expected him to have. Donut, sitting in a dining room area with Doc, Simmons, Grif and Sarge. Either Donut is forcing them, or Sarge uses this as a meeting time.

I found a seat, the only seat, in-between Grif and Sarge. On the table was a platter of cheese, and six Wine glasses and a bottle of Wine on the table.

I thought Cheese and Wine time would be fun, but actually.. lets just say, I wish I could have shot Donut's foot instead of my own, and instead of his foot, it would be his throat, and by throat, I mean his vocal cords. He would not stop talking, and nobody drank any Wine, no one even took their helmet off besides Donut. It was just an hour of talking and gossip and talking. It was half an hour later that Donut stopped Wine and Cheese hour, and when that happened I hobbled to my new room and laid on the bed, contemplating life.

"Congrats on making it through Wine and Cheese hour, newbie." I didn't have to look over to know it was Grif, recognising his voice.

I ignored him calling me newbie, sighing instead. "I think I'd rather shoot myself in the foot again."

Grif chuckled, "You're going to be missing a foot by the end of the week." He sat down, taking his helmet off and lighting a cigarette. "By the way, since your new, you have to cook dinner." I shrugged, it was my turn to cook dinner at home, so nothing different. Wait, I am at home.. aren't I? So.. nothings changed?.. right?

I got up and limped toward what looked like a kitchen, "And lucky you, we got a fresh shipment of supplies yesterday." I heard as I left.

The kitchen was a mess, reminded me of home. I didn't have a mom around to clean for us, it was just dad and I, and I grew up to be a slob just like him. Grabbing four, wait.. Sarge, Simmons, Doc, Donut, Grif and I.. six plates from the sink and cleaning them, then looking in the horribly organized freezer. Grabbing whatever, after the microwave instructions and leaned on the counter to wait.

"Whats for dinner?" Grif wandered in, sitting at the table.

"Mac & Cheese and Corndogs." I answered, taking out the Mac & Cheese from the microwave and sticking in the Corndogs.

I ignored Grif's comment and took a few more Corndogs out of the packages, then fetching the ketchup and mustard for those who use it, setting them on the table.

"So.." I spoke, trying to avoid an awkward silence. "What do you guys do around here?"

Grif shrugged. "We usually just sit around and talk, or protect the flag."

Last time I checked, there was almost no way to program taste in a simulation. The moment I would take a bite out of one of these Corndogs is the moment I will be able to say that this is a simulation or not. Programming emotions, colors, sounds, background, pain, scents _and_ taste? I remember when simulations were in black and white! We make noticable progress everyday, and we can't suddenly jump from sort-of realistic simulations to the most realistic experience of all time.

I stacked the Corndogs in a pyramid form, adding up to ten in all. I set the food on the table, then looking through an awesome feature in the helmet. I sent a message to anyone in a one hundred yard or so radius, _"Dinner"_. In only a few seconds, everybody swarmed into the kitchen.

"Its Grif's turn to cook, wasn't it?" Simmons asked as I washed a serving spoon.

"He said since I'm new I have to cook."

Simmons shouted, "Grif!" Glaring at him.

Grif sighed, "Do you really want me to cook, after what happened last time?"

There was a silent agreement as I wondered what happened last time, looking over to see a microwave in the trashcan. Everybody sat down at the table, then started taking their helmets off, I then fiddled with the clasp. When my helmet came off, the smell of an old dirty kitchen filled my nose. When I looked up, everyone was staring at me, with their own helmets off.

Grif was tan, with light stubble on his chin and his unkempt greasy dirty blonde hair reflected his lazy personality. Simmons black hair was neatly parted down the middle and had no facial hair whatsoever. Simmons almost mirrored Sarge if his hair was a buzz cut and white, Sarge looked like a typical old, gruff, crabby war veteran, with thick eyebrows and a scar on his face to match. Then there was Doc, his hair was in a lazy red ponytail while his green eyes were hiding behind thin rimmed glasses. And last, there was me. My hair was unkempt like Grif's, but full blonde, my green eyes zipped around to male to male, as they were all staring at me.

"Are we going to eat or stare at each other?" I asked, reaching to place a Corndog on my plate.

"Where did you get your hair cut?" Donut asked, scooping some Mac & Cheese onto his plate.

"I cut it myself." My hair wasn't the best looking in the room, it looked almost exactly like Grif's hair but a little less greasy and a bit longer.

I looked down at my plate, elbow on the table and propping my head up with my fist, lazily sticking the Mac & Cheese in my mouth. My eyes widen, this was real. It tasted like the Mac & Cheese dad and I eat every Wednesday. I tried the Corndog, tasted like every other Corndog I have ever had. This is real, I am in the Red vs Blue universe.  
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How the fuck am I going to get home?

**Please excuse any spelling errors I am un aware of, criticism is wanted but not needed. Thank you for reading Chapter 3.  
I do not own the characters mentioned in this Chapter. I only own my character, Joy.**


	4. Chapter 4

**(SORRY FOR THE WAIT)**  
**This chapter is in 1st person. POV of Joy. Thank you, and bear with mistakes I make.**  
**_::Start::_**

Being the newbie of the group, Sarge put me on 'night' patrol. Since this planet has two suns, it's almost impossible to tell when night is, when one sun sets; the other rises. I stepped out of the air lock and to the top of the base, hearing my helmet lock, due to the air not being safe to breath for more than a minute..

I don't think I'll be the best at night patrol at this moment. I spent hours in simulations, walked home, fell from a large height, shot myself in the foot and cooked dinner, so I'm pretty exhausted. I fiddled around with my helmets settings, finding advanced options and seeing nothing interesting at the time besides the voice manipulator, which I messed with. It's like natural helium, I can even make myself sound like a guy, like Tex did on the first RvB episodes.

I had to force my eyes open, feeling them close without my permission countless times, until I gave up. My arms crossed into a comfortable position, starting to fall asleep, but then I heard a noise, scuffing of feet and voices. I opened my eyes, flinching as I was now helmet to helmet with a blue soldier.

We stood there for a second, until I broke the silence. "Hi there." I flinched at the sound of my deep voice drowning out the sound of my real voice, forgetting I messed with the voice manipulator. "What's up?"

The blue soldier backed up a bit, looking up at the sky, and now I know it's Caboose. "Oh, you know, the usual. The sky, trees, ceilings, birds-"

"Caboose, stop speaking to the enemy!" Is that Washington?

"Sorry!" Caboose ran behind Washington, who was staring at me with crossed arms and a cocked head.

"Are you a knew red soldier?" Washington asked as I got up.

"Well, I am at a red base.." I hoped he would have gotten the hint, but everything was silent after that. "Wearing red armor.." Still nothing. "I'm totally a blue.."

"Okay, I get the point." Washington then started walking away.

I ran up to him, taking his pistol (as I haven't received one yet) from his hip and pointing it to his head.

"You have the flag, don't you?"

Washington turned around, knocking the pistol out of my hands. I kicked him in the gut, making him clutch his stomach in pain and stumble backward, letting go of his rifle. I took the rifle from the ground and pointed it at Caboose's head.

"Where is it?"

"I'm not used to the reds fighting back." Washington grunted, regaining his posture. "Fine.. Caboose, go back to blue base."

"Alright Church!" Caboose gladly ran away, toward the blue base, shouting me a goodbye. "Bye new person!"

Washington then walked down the ramp, and behind the wall is where he was hiding the flag. He tossed it to me, then I tossed his weapon back to him. We stood there, in awkward silence as we stared into each others visors, not knowing what to do now, not knowing what he's thinking.

"See ya next time." Washington put his rifle away and started running, leaving me to wonder why he didn't just kill me when he got his gun back. I already know, red and blue doesn't really matter, stealing the flag is just something for them to pass the time and humiliate each other.

"Great job soldier!" I flinched, and set my voice manipulator off. "No one has ever caught the blues blue handed!"

I didn't want to question Sarge's 'blue handed' comment, instead, Simmons crossed his arms and sighed. "Yeah.. good job."

"What's the matter Simmons, new girl taking your spot as number one?" Grif taunted, earning a glare from Simmons, and a smile from me.

"If she keeps up the good work, she could replace you Simmons!" Sarge exclaimed, walking back into base like he didn't just state Simmons's nightmare.

"Good job, rookie." Simmons growled, taking my spot on night patrol.

Grif and I walked into the base together, on our way to our room he gave me tips on how to be Sarge's number one and how to beat Simmons in a fight, to mention snakes around him. "Why aren't you giving me tips on how to beat the blues?" I asked, sitting on my bed.

Grif stopped, and as if he had prepared for saying this, "If you replace Simmons, he'll whine a lot like he always does, then Sarge will be paying less attention to me! Which means: more naps."

I laughed at his laziness, if this was a simulation, the programmers probably spent way too much time in to getting their personalities and memories just right, but I think I'm convinced that this isn't a simulation. With the emotions and the reactions I am getting out of these guys, then how real everything feels: I shot myself in the foot, and not only did it hurt like I actually got shot in the foot, but everyone around acted like I thought they would.

What if the programmers at the facility were just faking that we were so un-advanced, and this is a test. But what is the test? Do I have to fight some battle between all of the soldier in this canyon? Do I have to bring them together? Tear them apart? Maybe I'll be put through a series of test, and when I finish the test, it all ends and I'm given a reward? I shouldn't be given a reward, the programmers should get a reward for making such a realistic simulation.

I closed my eyes, lying in bed, listening to Grif give me tips on how to be better then Simmons, and how they would lead to him having more naps and free time. Soon, Grif fell asleep, mumbling things about naps. I sighed, trying to get some sleep. If this was a test, I have to make sure I'm fully rested.

* * *

I didn't want to wake up, but I couldn't go back to sleep. I opened my eyes and stayed in my laying position, staring at Grif as he was still asleep, his snoring was probably loud enough to hear from the kitchen. I sighed, closing my eyes and trying to get back to sleep, hearing to door open.

"Wake up." I heard, I opened my eyes, seeing Simmons in the door, shaking Grif awake. "Wake up Grif. There is a meeting in half an hour."

"Ten more minutes." Grif grumbled and rolled over, swatting away Simmons hand. "Go wake up the new girl."

Simmons sighed, looking at me, crossing his arms then walking out of the door. Someone is jealous. My body was a little bit sore and stiff from sleeping in the armor, but it was warm and made me feel like I wouldn't get murdered in my sleep.

I stood up and stretched, walking in the main room without being noticed by Sarge and Washington, who were talking about me.

"So, _Joey _just fell from the sky, without any notice of arrival, and now is on your team?" Washington asked, then Sarge confirmed with a grunt, not really listening. "Isn't that a little bit too suspicious? How do we know he isn't going to surprise attack-"

"She." I sighed, making Washington and Sarge flinch and turn around to facing me. "How do we know _she_ isn't going to surprise attack, blah blah."

"But.." Washington looked at Sarge, then back to me. "Your voice last night, and your name is _Joey_."

I shook my head, walking up to him and holding my hand out. He flinched, thinking I would attack him like last night. "Its _Joy_. And sorry for attacking you last night."

Washington took my hand and we shook. "It's alright, we're supposed to be enemy's, it's Washington." I already knew his name, due to this being the Red vs Blue world, but I went along with it.

"Sarge, should we really be conversing with the enemy?" I asked, letting go of Washington's hand.

"He is a dirty blue, and by talking with him I could get some dirty blue information!" Sarge took out his shotgun from behind his back and aimed it at Wash. "He's a hostage until I feel he should leave."

"Yeah.." Wash put his hand on Sarge's shotgun and lowered it, looking back at me. "We need to talk, later."

I raised an eyebrow under my helmet, "Why? Don't trust me?"

Washington didn't reply, instead he picked up his rifle from the ground and walked out of the base. He didn't trust me.

"Meet me in the middle of the canyon, two hours."

He left, Sarge and I exchanged looks, shrugging. I sat down in the meeting room, ignoring everything Sarge was saying, thinking about Washington. He doesn't trust me, and if he asks where I am from, I'll need a fake story. I can't lie too much, but I can't say, "Oh yeah, you all are on a show that I watch, I know almost everything about you, David!"

"JOY!" I looked up, seeing Donut wave his girly hand in front of my face. "Are you taking a nap in there?"

"No, I was just.. thinking that.. Sarge made really good points.."

Simmons stifled a laugh. "That the men's bathroom needs an automatic flusher?"

My mouth went agape. "Y-yeah, if we're in danger, you guys won't have time to reach back and flush, and.."

"It's lazier." Grif finished, shifting positions from leaning in his chair to propping his head up with his hand.

Simmons shook his head, returning his attention to Sarge.

I sighed, now Simmons must know I'm up to something. The meeting continued for what seemed like hours, until Sarge let us go.

I headed outside the base, seeing Washington waiting for me in the middle of the canyon.

Shit.

I need a fake story.

* * *

**Please excuse any spelling/grammar errors I am un aware of, criticism is wanted but not needed. Thank you for reading Chapter 4.  
I do not own the characters mentioned in this Chapter. I only own my character, Joy.**

**(SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT)**


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